Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
