oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
