my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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