I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
