you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
How external is "for external use only"?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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