i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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