Don't you send me to vm
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
