Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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