it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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