haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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