she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
