i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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