Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
what the fuck happened to the tacos
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
