I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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