That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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