Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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