careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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