I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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