Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
