erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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