I accidentally had phone sex last night
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
40s are totally the cure
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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