did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
