i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Randomize
