I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
