took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Drunk is not a location!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize