Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
