First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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