Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
