I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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