So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
