I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
