And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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