what if every blade of grass was a penis?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize