It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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