I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
