At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
