Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
