So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
