it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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