we're blogging at a bar
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
