Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
