I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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