Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize