My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize