My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
