so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
