He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize