Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
