Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
