You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So many bounce houses so little time
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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