Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
