Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
