We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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