I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sext me about skeletons
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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