well most of my day revolves around power hour
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
