you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
