How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
