you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
